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HONEYMOON (2014) FOUR TOP HATS

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The other day I had to go to Houston for a wedding. Normally I would drive but since that disc ruptured in the bottom of my back, I’m more of a passenger these days (using the accelerator or the brake is the most painful thing I can experience with this fucking nerve problem). Anyway – that’s a ten hour drive IN (due to traffic, it’s a 7 hour drive coming home) so I rented three movies for the trip to and back. Sometime around Dallas, I started watching HONEYMOON – pretty much on a recommendation from Cara Gale – since I’d never heard of it, but I remembered getting all excited about it while it was downloading because – HELLO – Ygritte GODDAMMIT!!! YUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! She can Hodor my Jon Snow ANY time.HM2

As this started rolling and going along, I remembered that Cara said something about how she didn’t like the dialogue – or the characters being too cute together or something to that effect and I was feeling the same way. But then I thought of the deal that I think it’s just these two VERY UK actors are trying really, really, REALLY hard to put out that American accent and – I think they pull it off – but it’s difficult to put the eyes and ears in sync since we all know they’re so UK and all. I mean – there’s a big difference between someone saying “I see you are busy, what are you workING on?” and “Busy? Whatcha workin on today?” And I think that’s what comes out here. You might or might not be put off by the dialogue but once you get over it, I think you’ll be ok. Aside from the line where the guy says “You better go rest your womb because I did so much fucking on you last night.” That line was a little iffy.HM3

Other than that troubling piece of art, I really liked this movie – quite a bit! It’s slow and creepy and sets the mood right. I LOVED how you kind of knew what was going on a little and the way she transitioned from A to Z was really well done and well acted. The plot? A couple go on their honeymoon out by a lake. One night, the dude wakes up and his wife is missing. He finds her buck naked out in the woods and nothing’s the same going forward.HM4

Kind of like that time I met Tom Digital Shorbread Little. We exchanged some tweets and some blog comments one afternoon and decided to meet each other in the parking lot of a tailgate party at the Super Dome before a Saints / Falcons game. I remember seeing his RV set up out there in lot 49 – complete with a tent, a BBQ grill (with just one weird looking sausage cooking) and – of all things – a sewing machine. He was busy pumping that spinny thing with his foot when I approached:

ME: Tom? Tom? It’s Eric.
TOM (Taking the thimble out of his squinched eye): Eric?
ME: HA!! HELLO SIR!!
TOM: None but the Righteous are called to live in The Principle.
ME:………….. huh?
TOM: Come to me.
ME:……………….huh?
TOM: This is not the same world you lived in.
ME: It’s me. Eric. From the IPC.
TOM: My laundry is in the Clothes Box. The suitcase.
ME: You’re making me uncomfortable.
TOM: It uses the entire stack before It opens a new one.
ME: OK! This is just weird, you anus!!
TOM: In Cyprus. The Willow.
ME: LOOK -
TOM: It returns to stitching It’s Sadness Blouse.

Then, he put the thimble back in his eye and got back to his machine. Needless to say, things have never been the same.HM5

So – anyway, I really liked this and watched it twice. I remember JB also watched it and liked it for the most part, except for the ending. The ending didn’t bother me at all but the only problem I had with this was that I could have used some closure. I mean – WHY is this happening? WHO is behind this. WHAT do they want. All of that shit but it doesn’t take away anything from me. Oh – CPD – if you give this a watch – LOOK OUT for that scene on the bed about 3/4 in. It’s FUCKING GNARLY.HM7I hope everyone has a GREAT week!



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